Loving the Roundy Round

Which is Henry for carousel.

still fitting together

Not the most flattering image of yours truly but I love it. This is how he (and sometimes, I) naps about 75% of the time. He starts out in the crib and then after about 30 mins he cries and I walk in his room. He is sitting up, eyes closed, his arms outstretched, trusting that I will be there to collect him and make it all better. And I do. As soon as my arms are around him, his body becomes limp and he settles into my curves. I rock in the chair next to his crib with him sound asleep, our hearts beating together like they did while I carried him in the womb. I have no choice but to think, to let myself slip into meditation and go and retreat into the depths of my own mind and heart. What's on the grocery list? Will Obama win Ohio? Is there anything I need at the mall? Should I have Henry try fish tonight? What if he gets sick on vacation? When will we get a house? What will it look like? I'm hungry. It's the only part of the day where we are both still. Still together. Still fitting together.

he's a mover

...and he moves me. Up, down, over here, over there. He's still when he is sleeping. Awake time is for adventure and he wants me right there with him. And well, I am an artist of adventure.

peek-a-boo

He loves his hat he got from his Secret Santa. He wears it almost every day and he likes to let it go over his eyes and then lift it up to do "peek-a-boo." Sometimes he leaves it over his eyes in the carseat...I think it helps him take little naps!

My World is the Right Now

I look at him and wonder how he is so perfect. How did I get it right? Will I ever get it this right again? When he was a little baby I never rocked him to sleep. He wouldn't have it. And now at almost 10 months he hardly sleeps any other way. I hold him in my arms at night until he drifts off and then I lay him down and sneak away for a few hours until he realizes I am gone. I have to steal my "me time" until he calls me back to his side and then we lay together until we are both asleep. Sometimes I watch reruns of Law and Order...he doesn't mind the TV noise as long as he can hear me breathe. Sometimes I hate the enslavement but mostly I love it. Someday he will be the independent one and I will be the clingy mom, wishing he'd once again crave the comfort of my arms.