My World is the Right Now

I look at him and wonder how he is so perfect. How did I get it right? Will I ever get it this right again? When he was a little baby I never rocked him to sleep. He wouldn't have it. And now at almost 10 months he hardly sleeps any other way. I hold him in my arms at night until he drifts off and then I lay him down and sneak away for a few hours until he realizes I am gone. I have to steal my "me time" until he calls me back to his side and then we lay together until we are both asleep. Sometimes I watch reruns of Law and Order...he doesn't mind the TV noise as long as he can hear me breathe. Sometimes I hate the enslavement but mostly I love it. Someday he will be the independent one and I will be the clingy mom, wishing he'd once again crave the comfort of my arms.