Craziest night ever

I finally have time and the content with which to publish a decent post! Of course, I'm sure Henry will awaken around the third sentence and I'll be forced to finish this later. All the more reason to not be long winded as Erik calls me and get on with the story.

We were meeting to celebrate our friend K's completion of her PhD program and the last time we were at ONE (by the way, I don't know if all three letters are supposed to be capitalized or not, I just like it that way) there was a kickass DJ and only a handful of people present, making it an ideal place for us moms to get our dance on. However, last night the place was packed and we were intimately seated next to a table of about six older couples. And by older I mean they were most likely senior citizens. They appeared curious of us and asked my friend, S, about all the drinks and food being brought to our table. There was wine, lemon drops, calamari...we were totally getting hooked up thanks to G's connections! Soon we were sufficiently liquored for dancing and we left our coats and purses at the booth and began to dance. Suddenly, one of the female senior citizens was lurking around our belongings. Suspecting a clepto, K went over to check it out. Instead of the suspected robbery, there was actually a note written on a linen napkin. It read:

"God help your unborn child. You are already an unfit mother!!"

I've never felt blood actually boil under my skin before. But then again, nobody had actually ever had the balls to say something like to me or my friends. Most insults I can handle but that was just the craziest shit I have ever heard of because a) nobody at our table was pregnant b) even if you think maybe something looks perhaps, a little pregnant, who the f--- assumes it and feels that strongly that they are right that they have to ink up a linen napkin?

We confronted the senior citizens and they oddly denied it and then got up to leave. That wasn't good enough for K and G and they ran them over with K's Cadillac in Ryan's Alley. Actually, they confronted one of the females again and got some sort of vague apology, that their friend was "sure" one of us was pregnant. Right.

So the dancing recommenced but I wasn't feeling it this time. I guess I expect that a place that like would always be a little pretentious or else it wouldn't be cool for people to go there but this time it was a bit over the top. A lot of sparkles and sequin dresses and weird looks from people that would just stand on the dance floor and act cool. I was feeling out of place which is sad because as we were leaving the DJ was playing a mix of Silence with Delerium and Sarah Mac that I've never heard before. As we left, I saw a VERY obviously pregnant woman was walking in. Weird.

The night had to end in a better place so went across the street to Daisy Dukes. (There was some irony there.) Holy hell...I've never been there! What a place! There are just no words but hilarious comes close. We all had to ride the mechanical bull. I was feeling pretty good about it since I rode horses most my life and have had a few rodeo type incidents with green horses. I was able to stay on pretty long but I had no idea how hard I was gripping until today when the bruises on the inside of my legs appeared.

Cheers to Dr. K!!!!!